. . . meaning my appointment with my GI/Liver doc on Monday. Blood test results will be in and we’ll have an updated viral level. He’ll probably schedule my second liver biopsy, too. I’m hoping that we’ll have definitive answers by mid-April as to whether I do conventional treatment or jump straight to live liver transplant. I trust this doctor and will follow his recommendations. Time to put ME first now. Sorry kids! You’re old enough to fend for yourselves for now – mama needs to focus on getting well or preparing for end days.
It looms . . .
By February 27th, 2010, underToday
By February 18th, 2010, under. . . is my first born’s birthday. He’s 29 years old. ALREADY! And our baby will be 20 in September. If anyone had told me, “back in the day” (to quote my daughter), that I’d end up with two grown children by age 50 I’d have told them they were full of shit. I never planned to be alive past my 21st, then my 30th birthday. Lived recklessly — dangerously — hoping that life as I knew it would come to a close and I’d be put out of my misery. That misery is a whole ‘nother box of worms that I won’t open up on this blog, but suffice to say that I did find my ’savior’ in the man that I married but was never totally free until March of 2005 when my mother passed away. That said – move on.
We had a major scare on Tuesday night when the carbon monoxide detector suddenly went off. WTF? OMG! Huz jumped out of bed, reset it and it immediately started going off again. Turns out the flu for our pellet stove was full of ash and was blocked. While the poor man stood out in the cold in his PJ’s trying to fix the problem, and he probably did, we’ve opted to shut the stove down and rely on oil for heat until he is off from work to dismantle all fittings for the stove, clean them thoroughly and then we’ll give it a good test run to be sure we’re safe. I did have a headache that night and huzbeast insisted that it was due to the CO and that we should take a trip into the hospital to have my blood levels checked to be sure that I was OK considering the Hep C and all. I refused (of course) but went to bed with that damn headache and slept very poorly all night long. It finally dissipated yesterday around noon and while I was still quite shaken by the entire incident I did feel somewhat better than the night before.
Went and had all of the fasting blood work done. Have I posted that here already? If so, then I’m being repetitive. They took so much damn blood out of my arm . . . Kudos to the tech that drew my blood tho – first time I didn’t feel the needle slide into the vein and she hit on the first try. I have very deep veins and this sometimes proves to be daunting to phlebotomists. Recommendation to locals — need blood drawn? Go on Saturday mornings and hope you draw the same tech I did. She’s most excellent. 
I’m not going to call the doctor’s office for those results; I’ll wait until my March 1st appointment to get the news. I need to call Horton today to see if they can get me a copy of the results of the liver biopsy I had in ‘06. Note to self: do it TODAY dumbass! Still have to have another biopsy – not something to look forward to, that’s for sure. Awake for the entire procedure and while they do numb up the area that they intend to penetrate with that outrageously LONG needle there is still sensation as bits of the liver are snipped off for testing. And when he (the doc) goes in waaaay deep for that last snip you (well, me) feel like a string is being yanked deep inside that is attached throughout the abdominal region… strange, strange feeling. Patience is a definite virtue afterwards since I have to lie on my right side where the biopsy was taken from so that pressure is applied to the liver to prevent bleeding out. Last time they gave me my Norco after the procedure and I totally zoned out. . . a nurse had come in to check on me and immediately called for help thinking I had gone into crisis. I hadn’t — I was just sleeping, dammit! Make me lay there and order me to not move, what else is there to do but sleep? 
I hope that the next six weeks or so pass quickly so we don’t have to drive ourselves nuts wondering what the results may be. <sigh>
DONE
Shit
By February 12th, 2010, underWas typing a new post and hit something on the keyboard that lost it all on me.
For the past few days my hubby has been taking care of me. Not something I’m usually comfortable with – but he insists. I’m not supposed to feel guilty, but I do. He’s been cooking, straightening the house here and there, and taking care of the dogs. I intend to do some laundry today and will wait to do so until after he goes to his 12:15 doc appointment. This way I won’t have him telling me to let him do it all… he needs to understand that I do need to do at least a little something before I feel like I’m going to crash & burn again – head off to bed to snooze many hours away.
Nice & warm in the house. Sun is shining and helping to warm things up a whole bunch. We may head out shopping later on. His nephew is supposed to be stopping by this afternoon to introduce us to our great nephew. We’re really looking forward to meeting him. Jason, huz’s nephew will be leaving on Monday. He’ll be taking a train back west via a northern US route. I bet he’ll love it. He’s such a social person and just about everyone seems to love this kid. Someday his father will regret pushing him away – at least I HOPE he will… Who really knows with that guy. He’s the type that believes he has understanding of the world that no other human can possess and is so self righteous and arrogant —- dry drunk. Give him time. It’s the only thing between him and his next drink/drunk. Once he begins that phase it’s pretty much all over for him.
ANYWAY – huz just went out to the store for me. I cannot express how lucky I am to have him in my life. My dearest friend introduced us way back when – and while the huz and I had some major bumpy areas in the beginning we did finally come back together in April of ‘89 and haven’t been apart since. This man is the only person in the world that I trust 110% and that took a long time to achieve, too. Having trust issues throughout my entire life with men and women is not something that is easily overcome, and he (huz) is the ONLY person that has that from me. My soul mate? Most definitely. I couldn’t survive without him. And a big thanks to my friend, Bette, for getting us together so long ago.
OK – meds kicking in and my hands are starting to feel a bit more functional. I have a bit of a ’spontaneous cloud’ to finish spinning up as a single – then I would love to get it all plied together before grabbing the next cloud for a corespun yarn. Feeling a tiny bit ambitious at this moment – I’d also like to get some wool into quart jars and dye it up. I need some more colors since I plan on working Meunch’s “The Scream” into a color pattern and then knitting it up on large needles, and machine felting for a computer case for my lil’ purple notebook.
DONE
Friends
By February 9th, 2010, underTo my dearest friends that have offered to come here and help me out with stuff – please don’t take my refusal to heart. While I could probably use your help in doing things around the house I may need you more in the near future once we know what we’re going to be confronted with. I don’t want to abuse the privilege of any friendships, and you all know how bloody independent I can try to be. I hate to be a bother to anyone. In the near future we may consider hiring a housekeeper to come in twice a month to do the things that I am no longer capable of doing – floors, windows, extensive dusting. I’d rather have friends here at a later date to simply sit with me while I’m totally indisposed, maybe do a bit of cooking for my darling huz. Since I’m relatively still on my feet I just need to TRY and do some of the trivial stuff around here myself.
I know I’m probably being stubborn – but as I mentioned, I don’t want to seem to use any of you for help at this time for my own peace of mind and to keep from feeling so incredibly guilty for being stupid and getting myself into this situation with the virus in the first place. Hep C sucks. . .
Love you all. -L
DONE
Blah
By February 9th, 2010, underFeeling quite ill today. Nausea is constant and I may have to take steps to try to alleviate it. Feeling somewhat toxic as well. Lots of water today to try and flush my system out. I think I’ll make up a green salad with Greek seasonings to eat on wraps IF I even feel like eating at all. Instinct at the moment is to head back to bed and stay there all day… and night.
Big snow supposedly coming in. We’re out of eggs and could use some half & half for coffee. I don’t feel like going out right now — maybe I’ll be a little better later so I can go.
Daughter left here yesterday after she and I had a kind of confrontation. I don’t want to lose her, but if we don’t take a stand now we may end up losing her forever and have to plan a funeral. She’s breaking my heart. I still have very high hopes for her and hope that she’ll take the steps needed to get herself straight and to understand why she does the things she knows could kill her. Reckless abandon. Frightening.
Must lay back down for a bit.
DONE
Well . . .
By February 6th, 2010, under. . . I guess I’m heading into a period of exhaustion again. Slept 11 hours last night but had to crawl back into bed at 4pm this afternoon. Huz got me up at 8:45pm. I was surprised it was that late. He wanted to be sure I ate something. It’s now 9:55pm and I’m quite ready to head back to bed.
Daughter is out for the night – she went to her boyfriend’s home. He ran into a bit of trouble and she’s there to comfort him, I guess. I feel for him – we really like Chris and feel that he got a bunch of shit handed to him that was quite unfair.
New chair! We were considering buying one to replace the recliner that huz uses because our resident ‘big fella’ (Caesar) has damaged the existing one quite heavily with those huge canine feet of his. Our son called – he got a brand new recliner (about a month old) from an elderly neighbor that wasn’t able to use it at all. Son & DIL had no room in their new home and Erich said he thought of his dad’s beat up chair and thought we’d like it. Like it? Wow! We love it. Very nice piece of furniture. Huzbeast is very pleased.
I need to get my ass up at some point this week and head to a lab to have blood drawn for a ‘fasting’ work-up on all things related to my liver and the damn hep C. Wish I didn’t have to drive so damn far, but. . . whaddya gonna do?! I’ll get coffee before hitting the lab so I can have it as soon as the draw is done. Might even take Caesar with me for the ride if its not too cold outside.
Going to find something to nibble on – maybe some bruchetta, then heading back to bed.
DONE
Huz online
By February 5th, 2010, underHe’s learned quickly about all of this online stuff and sent me the following link regarding liver donor transplants.
http://a-s-t.org/files/pdf/patient_education/english/AST-EdBroGiveLiver-ENG.pdf
From this, we assume that as long as he’s healthy we can do this thing. This would give me the possibility of emerging virus free. Of course there would be the transplant medications I’d have to take for the rest of my life, but I can do that…
We forgot
By February 4th, 2010, underToday was our wedding anniversary and we both forgot. Ah, well, whaddya gonna do? Decided to order Italian from the place down the road. Got a white pizza for the very first time from this place – had ‘em put black olives and mushrooms on it. Good pie! Also got an order of Bruchetta – my very fav. Kids got hot heros, huz got hot wings & fries. Lots of pizza left. I only had a small slice.
Had good discussion w/my honey about what’s ahead but I’m too tired to type it all tonight. For now – he & I are the same blood type and he wants to be tested as a possible donor should I require transplant.
DONE
Burning. . .
By February 3rd, 2010, under. . . sensations again. Pretty intense tonight. Best description of how it actually feels — like that Ben Gay stuff my grandmothers’ used for arthritic pain, but under the skin and abdominal. Extremely tired but unable to sleep. Laying down makes me nauseous. Burning. . .
Fish oil –
By February 3rd, 2010, underCopied from clinical trials website::
In patients with chronic Hepatitis C, there tends to be an accumulation of fat in the liver. Fatty liver has been associated with failure of treatment.
The accumulation of fat in the liver has been blamed on a particular type of fat called triglycerides. Fish oil, by reducing a type of fat called VLDL, can lower the triglyceride concentration by as much as 50 percent or more. This study seeks to determine if the administration of fish oil along with standard treatment to patients with Hepatitis C will increase the treatment response rates.
I’ll be starting fish oil capsules in the morning. Every little bit just may help!
DONE
